David spit hot coffee all over the place as he started laughing. He knew better than anyone in that house what his wife was capable of. He thought it was funny that now Fuzz was getting a small taste of the real Brie Draiman. Yes, she was a wonderful mother. Yes, she was an amazing wife. No, she would NOT tolerate his bullshit. If he kept pushing her buttons, he just might find out how much of an ice queen she really was.
The other guys laughed with him. Well, everyone did but Fuzz. They all knew how Brie was too. They all knew that she meant what she said, and they all found it funny.
Fuzz decided that silence was the better part of valor and shut up, pouring himself a bowl of cereal and eating quietly.
Jeremiah wandered into the Kitchen and tapped David on the knee. David turned to his son. “Yes, ‘Miah?” The little boy motioned his father to bend down so that he could whisper in his ear. David did so, and then laughed at what he said. “Go tell your Mama that one, ‘Miah. That’s funny.”
The boy went over and whispered in his mother’s ear after she bent down to hear what her baby boy had to say. “That’s funny, ‘Miah. Where did you come up with that?”
“Jacob and Jordan”, the little boy said quietly.
“Tell Jake and Jordan that they’ve got a special treat coming to them at lunch because THAT was funny.”
“Do I get a treat too?”
“Sure do. You came in and told the joke.”
He smiled and started to leave. “Oh, no you don’t, boy”, Dan called after him. “I wanna hear this too.” Jeremiah turned and went to where Dan was sitting and whispered in his ear when he bent down. He took turns with every one of the adults… but Fuzz.
“Don’t I get to laugh too, Jeremiah?”
He ran to his mother, hugging her legs and shook his head. “No.”
“Why not?”
“A’ cuz it was about you. You don’t get to hear jokes about you.”
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The guys went downstairs for the morning, leaving the women to clean and prep for lunch. When they went, Fuzz went with them. He was still feeling the sting of Brie biting into his ass and David’s kids busting on him. “You’ve got to do something about those kids of yours, David. They’re disrespectful.”
“They don’t know you and you haven’t earned it. Brie and I have taught them that respect goes both ways and MUST be earned. They respect John, Mike, and Dan because they’ve earned it. You, however, have not. If they want to bust your balls because you look funny, then, I hate to say it but I’m not going to stop them.”
“Then I’ll just talk to Brie about it.”
“My wife doesn’t like you, Fuzz. Haven’t you gotten that message yet? Why do you think you’re down here and not up there with the women? Brie would eat you for lunch and spit out your bones.”
“I think your wife is psycho to be honest, David.”
“She may very well be, but she’s not to our kids, Mikey, Danny, John, their families, or myself . So, maybe you ought to think about what it is YOU’RE doing that’s pissing her off and change it. Trust me, man, she will put a bullet between your eyes and not think twice about it. She’ll probably do it with a smile on her face.”
“And you wonder why I called her an ice queen earlier.”
“She’s only being cold to you. What is it you’re doing that’s pissing her off?” Fuzz opened his mouth to respond, but David silenced him with a hand. “Don’t answer aloud. Think about it long and hard.”
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John was laying down a bass rhythm in the studio. It sounded perfect. It was haunting and heavy, complimenting the melody and beat that Dan and Mike had laid down just moments before. David sat in the booth with his legal pad working on lyrics for the melody. Fuzz was antsy. He couldn’t be still. After the take was over, he went into the room where John was playing. “That sounded great, dude, but let me give you some pointers.” He reached down to take the pick from John’s hand.
John snatched his hand back. “I think I know what I’m doing, thank you. Please go back into the sound booth with David. I’m not going to ask twice.” John was calm. He was the more level headed of the group. I am NOT going to lose my cool over this bozo, he thought to himself.
Fuzz refused to leave. “Just let me show you this one thing…”
“Leave the booth NOW, Fuzz.”
David intervened. “Fuzz, get out of there now. Let John work. He doesn’t need your help.”
“I just wanted to help him improve on the rhythm.”
“It doesn’t need improving upon, Steve. Get your ass out of that booth NOW.” David barked. Fuzz walked out of the booth. “THAT is the kind of shit that got you shit canned in the first place, Steve. You don’t go and try to fix anything that John is doing. He doesn’t need your help. He’s got his part of the writing under control”, David said, using the end of his pen as a pointer.
“Still the same David. Always thinking YOU’RE the one in control.”
David took a deep breath, resisting the urge to pull the pistol in his waist band on Fuzz. “Look, you don’t know a damn thing about me, Fuzz. I’ve changed a lot in the thirteen years you’ve been out of the band. Now, I’m going to make this as clear as I possibly can. John does not need your two cents. He’s damn good at what he does. The last thing he needs is a washed up has been like you going into the booth and fucking with his creative process. Leave him alone. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”
“No matter what you might THINK, David, you’re not my father. I don’t need you to tell me what to do. I’m a grown man. If I want to go in there and offer my assistance, I’m going to. No questions asked.”
“And when John finally snaps and blows your head off, you’ll wish you had listened to me.”
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The entire morning was like that for the guys. Fuzz was stepping all over their creative process. By the time lunch rolled around, the band was ready to get the hell away from him. David came up the stairs fuming. Brie picked it up right away. “Baby, do you need to cool off before you eat?” He nodded silently then pointed toward the hallway that led to their room. She went to that hallway without another question and went to their room. He said nothing once they were on the other side of their door. He just pointed to the shower. She went into the bathroom without a question, pulling her clothes off as she went. After he was sure she was good and wet, having left the water soak into her, without a word of warning he went into her.
She knew what was coming. It was one of the few times he would just let go. There would be no begging for her own release. She’d just take it when she got it. Her husband needed her right now. He needed to get rid of the pinned up anger she felt rolling off of him. She let him have his way with her to calm down. Fuzz was going to hear about it when they went back out to eat. THIS was NOT acceptable.
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John had taken all that he could stand. The VERY next time Fuzz opened his mouth, John was going to let him have it, with both barrels as Brie would say.
“I think that song you guys were working on down there is great, but it could uses a few little tweaks here and there”, Fuzz told Dan.
That did it. He slammed his fork down on the table. “You know something, Fuzz? If it weren’t for the fact that our boss wants you here and alive, I’d have shot you already and had Morbus burn the body. You’re not in the band anymore, asshole. I took your place. Your opinion hasn’t mattered since you got shit canned, so keep it to your mother fucking self or I’ll forget that the Director wants you here and I’ll end you. Got it, mother fucker?”
David and Brie were coming back into the room at that point and froze in the doorway. They exchanged a look, and then looked back at John. “Are you feeling ok, brother?” David asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“Did you just tell Fuzz there that you would end him if he didn’t shut his mouth?” Brie asked.
“Yeah.”
“I’ve never heard you talk like that, John”, David said. Dan and Mike echoed him.
“And I apologize that you all had to see that, but THIS mother fucker”, he pointed at Fuzz, “needs to learn to shut his fucking face. I’ve had it with him already.”
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