The packing and the building came along at a record speed. The Director called not even three weeks after initially telling the band and their families to start packing she was calling to tell them that they could all go home. None of them could hide their shock. “That quickly?” John asked when she called.
“The men and women you fought beside decided that you all needed to get the fuck out of hiding and into your own homes so that you can start planning a tour and start working on another official studio album.”
“Though we’ve put three albums out in the time we’ve been in hiding, they want and OFFICIAL studio album instead of the underground stuff that we’ve been cutting?” Dan commented.
“Pretty much, Dan. The people are excited to see you guys finally get the fuck out of seclusion.”
“I think we’re ready to get the fuck out of seclusion too”, Mike said. “I know I am.”
“Same here”, David said. “I want to sleep under a roof that I OWN and don’t have to share with you fuckers”, he said with a laugh.
“Oh, come on, David, it hasn’t been that bad living with us the last eight years has it?” Mike teased.
“It was as painless as pulling nails out of my cheeks from the inside out”, David said with a sarcastic smile.
“It reminded me of when we first got started and we were all living with Fuzz”, Dan laughed.
“THANK GOD I didn’t have to endure that. I think I might have killed him”, John said with a laugh.
“I almost did on a couple of occasions”, David laughed.
“Well, boys, I hate to interrupt your stroll down memory lane, but I have to get you all some vehicles rounded up and sent over so that you guys can get out of that safe house and to your own homes.” She laughed. “David, do you want me to send over the Partridge family bus so that you can transport your clan?”
“FUCK YEAH! I’ve always wanted to drive the Partridge Family bus!” he joked sarcastically. “My life will not be complete until that happens!”
The Director laughed. “Got it! One Partridge Family bus for the Draiman clan.”
“Director, if you send a bus, I’m going to be pissed”, David said with a laugh.
“Oh, come on, David, would I do that to you?”
“Yes. Yes you would.”
“Aw, come on, nephew, you’re taking all the fun out of life.”
“I don’t care.”
“David, cut me some slack here. I’m not going to be that evil.”
He laughed. “You can’t bull shit a bull shitter, Gail. It just doesn’t work.”
“I’ll make you a deal, David. If you can call me Aunt Gail, then I won’t send you the Partridge Family bus.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No, I’m dead serious.”
“Well, then send the fucking bus cause it’s not happening. Not in this lifetime”, he said with a laugh.
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“We’re going HOME!” David announced to his family. The kids all jumped up and down in celebration.
“I hope my aunt’s not going to send anything ridiculous like a bus”, Brie giggled.
“Oh, believe me; she’s going to send a bus because I won’t call her Aunt Gail.”
“Why won’t you call her Aunt Gail?”
“It just seems wrong. She’s been my boss for so long that I’m not comfortable calling her Aunt Gail.”
“Just like it felt weird for me to call her ‘Director’?” She looked at him eloquently.
He thought about it for a moment. “I’m still not doing it, but you’re right.”
“So stubborn, David Michael. Why?”
“Because if I’m NOT stubborn, then I’m not me and you love ME, right?”
She smiled at him, then leaned against him for a kiss. “You got me there. I do love you for you. If you were to act like something you’re not, then there WOULD be issues.” She pressed her lips to his.
He smiled and kissed her. “Good to see we’re in agreement.”
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The vehicles rolled into the driveway and at the head of the convoy was a big yellow bus. Gail Richardson laughed to herself. He’s gonna be SO pissed, but he’ll forgive me in the end, she thought to herself.
David walked outside and saw the bright yellow monstrosity that pulled in. “BRIE, I’M GONNA KILL YOUR AUNT!” he called over his shoulder as he walked out the door.
Gail climbed out of the front seat of the Humvee she rode in with a huge smile. “Hi, David. Sorry, I couldn’t get the Partridge Family bus, but I hope that this one will work.” She motioned to the bright yellow bus as it pulled out of the way to reveal a large passenger van. “It has a DVD player in it for the kids, and head phones so that you and Brie don’t have to listen to the movie.”
He looked at the older woman in front of him. “Here I was about ready to give you hell over that big yellow beast and then you show me that black beauty. Fine, I’ll fucking say it! Thank you, Aunt Gail.” He made a face that said that it left a bad taste in his mouth to say it.
“Did that kill you, David?” she teased. He flipped her off and she laughed. “Oh, come on, it wasn’t THAT bad, was it?” He flipped her off with both hands and she laughed harder. “I didn’t think so.”
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